Relationships are funny things. They can give unimaginable happiness and they can be the cause of some of the worst pain you’ll ever feel. They go through so many changes the longer the two people (or however many people there are involved!) are with one another. You adapt to your situations whether it be having children, changing your jobs, someone passing away in the wider family….whatever it is you adapt as best you can to make your relationship work. I guess this is the same with non romantic relationships too, it can often be hard to maintain friendships because life in general may get in the way but you adapt to make sure the friendships worth keeping do survive.
As we all know though there are times where things hit an impasse. The relationship has reached the point where it can’t continue anymore and things break down. Sometimes these are relatively easy to deal with and in time get over….you move on. Other times it’s a long-drawn process which can be for any number of reasons. The relationship breakdown I went through was both quick but also the definition of long-drawn. The initial blow was crippling and indicated the end with no chance of things ever being repaired, and with some issues still existing nearly two years later it remains an ongoing saga. I won’t lie, there are times where it could only be described as a battle (think Battle of the Bastards on GoT) and the wounds will take time to heal.
Having children with someone means that person is going to be in your life in one way or another for a fucking long time (if not forever) and I accept that. The thing I focus on most is trying to make sure the kids see none of the friction that exists between their mother and I, and so far I think I’m dealing with that in the right way but time will tell. There’s nothing special about my breakup. It’s no more significant than anybody else’s either. It’s a roller-coaster of emotions for anybody going through one and whether it’s happening after 8 months or 8 years they’re tough.
So that’s where my thoughts have been today. Since the split I’ve asked myself many times “What happened?” “Where did it all go wrong?” “Was it all my fault?” and things like that. It wasn’t all my fault, there were problems on both sides I’m sure and hindsight is a great thing! With any relationship breakdown there’s always going to be two sides of the story and I can only give mine. I don’t try to think of answers to the questions above anymore. Sometimes it’s just a matter of things change and people change too, the important bit is what you do after.
I think tomorrow needs a happier feel to it! Until then.