I was having a conversation with a friend a while back and I remember saying I felt like I’d lost my identity a little since becoming a dad. Am I only Daddy now? I guess first of all you can’t say you’re “only” a mum or dad, like it’s an easy thing or just a little part of what you do. Whether or not you have a tonne of other things you have to do in life, being a parent is likely to be the biggest & most important thing you’re doing and that’s unlikely to change. I suppose when I think about it, if I asked someone to to tell someone else about me they’re probably going to go straight in with something about me being a dad. That’s cool and I’d hope that the people that know me would only have positive things to say about me! What I do wonder is could they think of much else to say about me? My life is predominantly Daddy & work, it has been for some time now and I’m quite happy with that. I enjoy my job right now and I work to give the kids a nice life, but even going back a couple of years I was Daddy, I had my job and I was someone’s partner, we had horses that needed a lot of time and we had a dog who needed looking after too so it felt like I was needed a lot more.
If I try to look back over the years at my identity I can’t really piece it together. I’ve always been in long term relationships and I’ve always worked so they take up a lot of time and with the relationships you give everything you’ve got physically and emotionally to the person you’re with. I guess I’m a good friend to people, I listen and take things in, then give my honest opinion. People seem to be quite comfortable talking to me which is really nice. I keep a fairly small group of friends and would do anything to help any one of them and I know they’d do the same for me. So that could be part of who I am too when I think about it. I’m very much friends & family orientated and that’ll never change. I used to love my music and played guitar a fair bit but that’s stopped as the years have passed which is a shame, I really should pick that up again. Writing this out and thinking about it in my own head brings me to the conclusion that, as I said at the start, being a parent is likely the biggest and most important thing I’ll ever do and I’m going to give my all to do a good job of it. So maybe now that is the biggest part of who I am, but I’m happy with that and wouldn’t change it, I do however need to remember that I am other things on top of that. I’m a good friend, I’m a loyal partner when I’m with someone, I’m an animal lover, I’m a shit guitarist, I’m a huge Arsenal fan (don’t mock me), I’m a coffee lover and from time to time I can make people laugh. Maybe there’s other things I just can’t think of now too.
I don’t mind that people may go straight for dad when talking about me, that’s awesome, but I need to make sure I remember all the other little parts that make me a whole person and I’m sure there’s times all of us need to sit and remember all the great things that make us up. This post kind of happened by accident, tomorrow will be back to the usual waffle and I can fill you in on the latest cake recipe I went rogue on (see the desert cake post for the last incident), thankfully this worked out better 🙂