Well…..where do I start. Come September it’ll be two years since the mother of my children and I split. In those two years I’ve maybe had four dates (proper dates), a number of conversations with women and one relatively short term partner.
So the dates. The first one was with someone who didn’t have children, but she knew I did. We had dinner and chatted, well she probably said more than me, and that was it. She asked about the break up and I gave very little detail, I also made a point of not slating my ex as I think I thought it’d just make me look shitty. After she said I spoke about her too nicely…..should have slated her! Never mind. We didn’t have much in common really but it was good to have a date as I hadn’t ever really done it, it was definitely new territory for me.
Second date, she didn’t really look like her pictures….like at all! I just didn’t have any kind of attraction to her though we did have a fair bit in common. She had a young boy and we watched similar things, similar taste in music too. Despite this though there has to be some kind of physical attraction I think especially as I personally think a good sex life contributes to a relationship working well, but you can’t have that if you’re not attracted to someone!
Anyway I won’t go into details of the others as I’ll be here all night, but one was a better experience than the first two although nothing materialised which wasn’t through fault on either side, mostly down to circumstances & logistics. I have found myself away from the dating game at the moment. Online dating for me hasn’t been enjoyable, it’s been pretty stressful and you definitely need a thick skin to persist with it! You’re taken purely on face value with photos and a couple of paragraphs of text. I’ve tried the free profiles, the paid sites and the swiping and it’s just not for me. I would rather meet someone in the real world over sifting through profiles, or at least get some proper conversation so someone can really get to know me.
To finish off part one I’ll talk about the short term partner. She was very different to the partners I’ve had in the past, though saying that I’m 31 and I was with the kids mum for eight years so it’s not like I’ve had tonnes of partners! Anyway she was different, but a good different. We had some stuff in common, and differences too. She has a boy older than my two so it was good having someone who knew about the things going on with mine. So it lasted 6-7 months but there were signs it wasn’t going to last quite early on. She could happily go days without talking, which I couldn’t. Something about her made me persist despite a couple of instances where we didn’t see each other for a good month, maybe more I can’t remember now. It probably should have ended earlier than it did but I really liked her and she seemed to like me but maybe the timing was off or we were too different in the end. I was very different to the kind of person she’d usually go for. She was the first person I’d properly been into since my ex so I tried to make it work, but it wasn’t to be! I’m glad contact with my kids was restricted to just two times, and she was my “friend” so they never actually asked why she didn’t come over anymore.
So that’s part one. An overview which I could have gone into more detail on but no need really. Part 2 will be more about the sites themselves and the people I’ve spoken to.