Today I’m speaking more about the process of trying to talk to someone through online dating sites. Each part below is a piece of that process and my own experience with each area. The world is fast paced, it’s all about getting what you want right now and people are often looking for perfection especially when it comes to choosing who they may start a relationship with, I get that. Some of the things I’ll mention below can be attributed to that but not all of them, some people just need to take a little more time and give that extra bit of effort.
Who am I talking to?
More often than not it’s easy to work out although there’s times when you’re looking through someone’s photos and it’s not actually clear which one they are. They’re all group photos and you have to pay attention and work out which one is in each pic, that’s if there even is just one person who features in them all! Then there’s the ones with just one photo of her and her friend, and she’s put in her bio she’s the blonde, but they’re both brunette. Next is the profiles where there is a massive difference in some of the photos, they’re all the same person (you think) but then there’s a couple where you’re thinking you look like someone completely different, which one is a true representation of you damn it! As I said though, usually it’s pretty simple to know who you’re talking to. Oh and don’t say things like “no topless pics guys, it’s just cringe” but then have a bikini pic of yourself in the mirror, come on fair is fair! I don’t do topless pics, just to clarify.
I quite like some detail when reading a dating profile. Not saying a life story along with your measurements and BMI, but a little to decide if there’s potentially some common ground. The ones I hate are “just ask”. Ok what am I asking then? Do I just message and saying “Hi, I’m asking!” or is it as simple as “Hi, tell me about yourself?”….Giving some detail in a bio helps everyone. For example if someone said they don’t date guys with kids I’m not going to bother her. If she says that she loves to go out and get wankered four times a week we probably aren’t for one another, so a little detail goes a long way.
Or lack of is probably more accurate. As mentioned at the start I get that life is fast paced and people don’t want to waste their time. If someone messages me and I feel they aren’t for me I just say sorry but I don’t think we’d be right for each other, this would only be if there’s something blinding obvious to me when looking at her profile meaning we just wouldn’t work. Otherwise I’m happy to have a chat and see if there’s a click or spark or whatever. Probably 80% of messages sent get no response, you’ll never know why either. Maybe it’s the kids, maybe it’s the location, could be I’m an ugly fucker to them or maybe all of the above. Whatever the reason it doesn’t really matter, but you do need to be thick skinned and not start thinking there’s something wrong with you just because someone doesn’t reply, they clearly have their reasons. Worst ones are where you have a chat, exchange numbers, chat a lot more and they disappear into thin air, completely off grid! I suppose lots of people are having multiple chats and maybe something progresses elsewhere? Hard to say.
Finally the swiping apps.
Not much to say about these. Maybe they are still more about hookups, which isn’t what I’m there for, but yeah I don’t enjoy these. There may be people who have met through this method but I can’t see it happening for me personally! These really do tend to be more focused on the physical/looks side of things.
It’d be great to hear about the experiences other single parents have had with online dating, especially dads who are like me and have their kids with them most of the time. People are always surprised when I tell them and I’m not sure if that scares them off! Comments on this post with your take would be good 🙂