When the kids got back from their mums last week I had a bit of a shit evening with them, my daughter more so. It means I’m more worried/anxious when it comes to dropping them to her this week. She says she’s taking them out for the day, but not just the three of them, no the boyfriend of four or so months will be there too as always. I still worry about what she says to them and I worry about how they’ll be when they get home, I think it’ll be hard to change that.

Saying that though the kids spend the night with their grandparents last night and A wasn’t very well come the night. She woke up and sounds as though she was sick everywhere, a couple of times! The grandparents are on my ex’s side and I still have a great relationship with them. Her mum told me that A was asking for me and saying she wanted to come back home to our house. Now that wasn’t possible at that time last night, it was quite late and H was sound asleep in bed. This did make me feel better though, I think when a child is poorly they want those they trust the most who they know look after them and make everything better, and that was me. Her nan took good care of her as always and she woke up happy with no more sickness either, so all good there.

I guess this made me think about how it must be for the kids at times. They are fickle, but with no intent to upset anybody behind it. They’re split between parents and went from a “normal” family dynamic to what we have now. Even the numerous changes in my ex’s partners must be quite confusing, along with not always knowing if they’re going to see their mum that week. This hasn’t been happening as frequently lately but was a major problem for months due to certain lifestyle choices she made and not making the children her priority. Maybe things will slowly start to stabilise, I can hope anyway, and in the meantime I’ll be trying a lot harder to not take things to heart. I know my relationship with the kids is strong and I just have to keep focus on that.

Hope everybody is having a good Saturday! 

One thought on “Fickle?

  1. Very thought provoking, it’s difficult as a mother with a ‘normal’ family unit to fathom not putting my child first, but I guess knowing it’s you that they ask for is all the reassurance that you need to remind you that you’re nailing it!

    Liked by 1 person

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