Nope this isn’t a post about me putting on weight (this has happened) though that could well follow after the festive period! No the title of this post is relating to me and my brain. I’ve very much had a wobble day today. Generally I’m just ploughing away at life, dealing with whatever comes my way as best as I possibly can and it’s usually fine. There’s the odd annoyance or situation to deal with, but usually all is ok and I’m good getting on with things. I’ve been super happy recently. Things are good with the kids and the ex rarely causes any real bother. The new relationship is amazing and I feel very content. Today though I had a wobble, and crashed
“Ummm sorry what’s that, you’re happy?” “Nope we can’t be having that, how about look at these things here in a completely stupid way and convince yourself there’s something you need to worry about, off you pop now.”
So yeah I was in a pretty good mood today, up until about 1pm maybe and then I went from happy to completely flat in about 5 minutes. Lost all interest in what I was doing, got bugger all done in work for the last 5 hours or so and just felt crap in general. Turned my wifi and data off on my phone and it remains that way now (I did turn it on to check something earlier, notifications all popped through and I just ignored). I just listened to music at my desk and made myself look busy.
These days are few and far between to be honest. The kids are with their mum until Wednesday and I miss them loads, but we’ve got a nice weekend planned at least, them being away doesn’t help though. I also ask myself how much of my mind trying to sabotage my life is down to the kids mum and how our breakup went down. The things I found out after, the emotional damage it did etc…..is that part to blame or am I just wired this way? Honest answer is I don’t know. I thought I’d have massive trust issues in a new relationship following the breakdown but I feel very at ease with my new partner. I do still have jealous moments I’ll admit and maybe blame can be placed with the ex there with how she was towards the end, but that’s something I need to deal with and work on.
I think I put in my last post that I have massively neglected the blog recently. Life has well and truly taken over but I don’t mind that. I do want to make an effort to blog more often though as today has reminded me why I started it in the first place. It’s my way of getting stuff off of my chest and trying to process things, and it does help. So I’m going to crack on with some present wrapping before logging back onto my work laptop to finish some stuff. Hope everybody is getting in the festive spirit, not long now!
Why life has taken over!
Now work full time. Daughter is in school, son is in pre-school and there’s so much to remember! The lad needs an asthma check and also needs his legs looking at : (. Holiday in October with my new partner : ). Fireworks night. Weekend away in London doing Winter Wonderland and The Shard. Helped my other half move house. Christmas shopping. Travelling for work related meetings and functions. Girl had tonsillitis : (. Never ending housework. I’ve been ill! So that’s mostly why I’ve been crap at keeping this up to date!