I recently posted about having a particularly bad day mentally, and how generally these days don’t happen often. It happened again though, over something really stupid. It was the same thing as before which was my brain trying to screw with me. This time it effected someone who is really important to me, and who I care about an awful lot. It was all resolved but it meant a couple of crappy days which was completely my fault. I don’t want to ruin what I have right now, life is so good and I don’t want it to change. Self-sabotage can’t happen anymore.
I look at the situation and the reasons for why it may happen and there’s some obvious things I can pin it on, but I also need to take some responsibility for how I was. Yes there’s people who have had a huge impact on how I am as a person, but ultimately I’m in charge of who I am, how I act and the things I do. Why do I allow people from my past to have a lingering effect on what’s going on in my life right now? They don’t even know they’re contributing to the shaping of it and they couldn’t care less either!
So yeah a couple of people have definitely managed to play havoc with my head and the way I see things, but the way I look at it now is if I let me past stick with me it’s only going to mess around with my attempts to build a real future. I have all the things I need right now to live a full and happy life, and it can only really get better. So as much as the last couple of days have been hard, frustrating and amazingly stressful…for me they were probably necessary. I hate that someone important to me was dragged into it all though, and refuse to let that happen again.
The whole thing has made me very aware that I’ve let negative people and situations from my past seep into my life now, they have no place here though. When you have something or someone good as part of your life, do not let the negatives from the past have any say in how you build your future. I’m not only building for me, but for my little ones too. I need to keep looking at the bigger picture and trusting my instincts rather than applying previous experiences to my life now. I’m feeling this is definitely a turning point for me, time will tell!
Your life is yours, live it the way you want to and keep a tight grip on all those things that make life worth living!
Happy Sunday : )